What one can't see just by looking are the internal changes. We have done a lot of growing up. Adopting our children accelerated this process. My husband was a good father and loved to play with the children, as you can see in this photo.
Later, when my son died in an accident at the age of fourteen, we had to support each other through our grief. This is my husband sharing his thoughts at my son's memorial service.
Because of the physical changes in our bodies, we can no longer do some of our favorite things together. One of these activities is hiking. It's hard to do when Hubby can't walk very far or for very long anymore. Sometimes I can't either. Sometimes we will go to a beautiful place where he can sit, while I walk. Often these are just rest stops while we travel on business. These photos were taken in Santa Barbara County on a day we had to go to Ventura.
|Hubby at Summerland © B. Radisavljevic|
|Hubby at Lake Cachuma, © B. Radisavljevic|
We used to enjoy traveling, but now that's hard, too. We do still both enjoy conversation and spending an afternoon or evening reading our books and just being together. That being together, after all, is what it's all about to have a spouse.
As you live together, you grow together and year after year the relationship deepens if you can keep forgiving as hurts and misunderstandings happen.. They can't help but happen when two selfish people try to live together. They happen much less as spouses adjust to each other's strengths and weaknesses and learn to appreciate them. If spouses give up on each other too soon they may discover too late that everything wrong was not the fault of the spouse.
Marriage is for better and for worse, through sickness and health, through prosperity and poverty. If spouses help and support each other through each of these, forgiving if necessary instead of turning on each other to blame and accuse, they will grow into mature people who can take on what life throws at them together. At the end of the road of life, they will realize they were each other's greatest treasure.