January 26 is National Spouses Day

Spouses Change a Lot in Fifty Years

January 26 is National Spouses Day. It is a day for spouses to appreciate each other. After over fifty years of marriage, I appreciate my husband more as each year passes and we can still enjoy each other's company. We've both changed a lot physically and mentally since this photo was taken on our wedding day. Some of our joints have worn out and been replaced and we've both put on more pounds. Those are the things one would notice just looking at us.

Our Wedding Day, used by permission of Robert Wantz

When we got married, we had some big cultural differences we had to get around. I was born and raised in California.  My husband was born in Serbia with some very definite cultural ideas about what was man's work and what was woman's work. These were reinforced by his mother, who would not have dreamed of letting a man get up from the table to get something from the kitchen if there was a woman there who could get it for him. That has changed. We help each other out.  Whoever is out and about picks up what we need at a store or runs the errand that needs to be done. That used to be all my department.

Hubby shopping, © B. Radisavljevic

More and more frequently we take turns driving each other to the emergency room, medical appointments after surgeries, and helping each other when one is not so mobile.  We are learning to care for each other when medical issues make us less independent for a time. Whichever of us is most able does what needs to be done at any given time. We even need to remind each other of important things we need to do so that doctor appointments, etc., aren't forgotten. Yes, they are on the calendar, but sometimes we still forget.

Hubby at Twin Cities Emergency Room, © B. Radisavljevic

Internal Changes that Affected Our Relationship

What one can't see just by looking are the internal changes. We have done a lot of growing up. Adopting our children accelerated this process. My husband was a good father and loved to play with the children, as you can see in this photo.

Hubby Playing with our Kids,  © B. Radisavljevic

Later, when my son died in an accident at the age of fourteen, we had to support each other through our grief. This is my husband sharing his thoughts at our son's memorial service.

Hubby Speaking at our Son's Memorial Service,  © B. Radisavljevic

Gifts for Celebrating Marriage

 Custom Mr and Mrs 25th wedding anniversary shirts Genesis 2:24 Love Quote Wedding Blanket Personalized Christian Tiles - 1Corinthians 13:4-8 Funny fortune Cookie Marriage Joke Postcard White cream roses marriage renewal ceremony card The Couple that Prays Together Mug Build your marriage on The Rock. Coffee Mug

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What We Can Do Together Has Changed

Because of the physical changes in our bodies, we can no longer do some of our favorite things together. One of these activities is hiking. It's hard to do when Hubby can't walk very far or for very long anymore. Sometimes I can't either. Sometimes we will go to a beautiful place where he can sit, while I  walk. Often these are just rest stops while we travel on business. These photos were taken in Santa Barbara County on a day we had to go to Ventura.

Hubby at Summerland © B. Radisavljevic

Hubby at Lake Cachuma, © B. Radisavljevic

We used to enjoy traveling,  but now that's hard, too. We do still both enjoy conversation and spending an afternoon or evening reading our books and just being together. That being together, after all, is what it's all about to have a spouse. 

As you live together, you grow together and year after year the relationship deepens if you can keep forgiving as hurts and misunderstandings happen. They can't help but happen when two selfish people try to live together. They happen much less as spouses adjust to each other's strengths and weaknesses and learn to appreciate them. If spouses give up on each other too soon they may discover too late that everything wrong was not the fault of the spouse.

Marriage is for better and for worse, through sickness and health, through prosperity and poverty. If spouses help and support each other through each of these, forgiving if necessary instead of turning on each other to blame and accuse, they will grow into mature people who can take on what life throws at them together. At the end of the road of life, they will realize they were each other's greatest treasure. 

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Best Deal on Pumpkin Pie Around

You Can't Beat This Price for Pumpkin Pie

On Thursday I made the monthly trek to San Luis Obispo for a medical appointment. Since I was already there, I went to Costco. I spent more than I planned because they finally had everything in stock they've been out of on my last three monthly visits -- broiled chicken strips, Kirkland salted almonds, and all my favorite kinds of chocolate. Well, almost all of them. It's probably good they didn't have them all because I overspent as it was. After all, the one thing about shopping at Costco is that you never know when  they will stop stocking your favorite products. That's why when they have them I buy a two-month supply.

Costco's Pumpkin Pie

I had to buy the pumpkin pie. My husband loves it and refers to it as "vegetables" to justify eating it. The pie is delicious, huge  (11" around and an inch deep), and only $5.99 at the San Luis Obispo store. I don't think I could make two pies myself for that price, and the Costco pie is about as big as two of my 9-inch pies would be. I have a very good recipe, but my pies aren't really any better than  this one. It's equal to about three Trader Joe pies, which are also delicious, but last time I looked their small pies were as expensive apiece as Costco's huge one.

As I update this in 2017, I just picked up another pie at Costco yesterday. Guess what? It was still only $5.99.

 Pumpkins Laminated Place Mat Pumpkin Pie Connoisseur Tshirts and Gifts Classic White Coffee Mug Thanksgiving Pie Dinner Party Inviations 5.25x5.25 Square Paper Invitation Card

Do you still make your own pumpkin pies? If not, which pies do you think are good values?

G is for General Store

Until  yesterday, I didn't realize Paso Robles had such a thing as a general store. However if you rid yourself of preconceived ideas of what a general store is, Paso Robles does have one. My idea of a general store was more in line with the ones found in small towns or in the early pioneer towns where a general store tried  to carry everything a family might need to survive -- food, blankets, tools, seeds, fabric, kitchen utensils, whatever was essential for living daily life.

The General Store in Paso Robles is a bit different. It carries instead an assortment of goods that make life more pleasant and more fun -- for yourself or someone you want to gift. Its window says is has "local goods and provisions for pantry and home." Many of these are gourmet foods like jams, candied nuts, local vinegars, seasonings, olive oils, and wines. They also have a dairy case of local cheese and salami. As I was browsing, I was given a sample of the Paso Almond Brittle, and it was very tasty. Did I mention that the owner and the others manning the store were very helpful? No one will ignore you here.

Browsing the shelves is a lot of fun. It was especially so for me. I've had many years of experience selling books and buying them wholesale. I've been to Book Expo a couple of times and seen all that publishers have had to offer bookstores. Naturally my eyes were drawn to the book displays.  I saw at least two of them. One had a lot of books on cooking and wine -- a wise choice for this area where foodies abound and wine tasting is a favorite leisure activity. But since I've specialized in children's and educational books for the past twenty years, I especially liked this display.

For nine of my years in retail I was a greeting card buyer. I attended gift shows twice a year and sales reps for card publishers called me often. My goal was to have beautiful tasteful cards that were uplifting and often humorous, but never in a mean or vulgar way. Naturally when I saw a card rack in a corner on the walls, I had to check it out. I'll just say that if a sales rep had showed me these cards, I would have bought them. They are a rare find. And they have some great ones for mothers. These are just a few in the display. You can make the photo larger by clicking it to read the words.

There's not enough room to show you the whole store. You will just have to  go downtown to 841 12th Street see it for yourself. You can also preview the General Store website and their Facebook Page for a close look at some items I didn't show you here. It won't show you all the baskets, hats, books, wall hangings, towels, tote bags and other goodies you will find if you actually visit the store, though. Next time you are downtown, just stop in and look around. If you go before Mother's Day, you're sure to find something your mom or grown daughter would love -- even if it's just a bag of this scrumptious almond brittle.

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E is for Earthtones

Earthtones in Paso Robles is one of those stores that doesn't wait quietly for you to discover it. Rather, it sort of grabs your attention as you walk by and you can't help but notice it. If you don't pay careful attention to its sidewalk and outdoor hanging displays when you walk past, they just might connect with you in a physical way.

Earthtones seems to be mostly a gift store from the outside, but it is also a spiritual mediation and massage center offering workshops and classes in such things as Yoga. It portrays itself to be a healing place where massage therapy, Yoga and Reiki circles are available, along with a variety of inspirational gifts. You will find it on Park Street, just west of 13th Street. If it's open, you can't miss it.


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