Kosta is God's Gift to Me from Across the Ocean

My Husband, Kosta, © B. Radisavljevic

"K" is a hard letter because I've previously written K is for Kennedy Club Fitness (where Kosta can often be found swimming and talking to friends) and It's Kite Flying Day -- both for this blog. My husband's name also starts with K, and  Kosta's story deserves a post here, as well as in previous articles I've written about his life. 

Many people have seen Kosta Radisavljevic around the North County at Kennedy Club in Atascadero, Covenant Presbyterian Church, KPRL Coffees, and North County Tea Party meetings and events. Few people really know him, and no one knows him the way I do. Few people realize he spent time in a Communist prison in Serbia as a child. Few people have heard the story of his escape. Some have worked with him in Southern California. Some of you knew him at UCLA when we were students. Here is the Kosta I know.

I met him when we lived in the same dorm, Dykstra Hall, at UCLA in 1962. He was active in Bruin Christian Fellowship (a chapter of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.) Another Christian student introduced us at dinner one night. It soon became apparent that Kosta was a magnet in the dining hall for Christian students from any organization and their roommates and friends. Our table seemed to have all the fun. Kosta made everyone, no matter what their religion, feel welcome to sit with us, and we all became friends.

Kosta was not raised in a church. He was born in Serbia. It took the grace of God to  get him out of Serbia. Kosta tells that story himself in the videos I made of him in this article, Enemies of the  People: Life in Communist Yugoslavia.  I also show you photos of his childhood and provide a bit of the background for the videos. This article and its videos will help you understand a bit of how Kosta became who he is. I was born in California and had a sheltered and happy childhood. It's hard for those of us who did to even comprehend what Kosta's family went through.

Kosta did not become a Christian until his family had emigrated to Canada. He went to a Christian Boarding School, Prairie Bible Institute, and it was there he became a believer. In 1959, Kosta's family finally got their green cards and moved to the United States legally. Finally, about 1961, he arrived at UCLA, where he majored in physics.

Kosta Playing with the Children One Night, © B. Radisavljevic

We became fost-adopt parents of two older children, siblings, Sarah and Jason in 1982. Kosta loved to play with the children, as you can see above. The photo was taken shortly after the children came. We loved traveling with the children and seeing the country together. We looked forward to seeing the children grow up and start families of their own, but that didn't happen. Jason died in an accident when he was just 14.  We were both crushed. Below you see Kosta speaking at Jason's memorial service, which was held outside our church.

Kosta Speaking at Jason's Memorial Service, © B. Radisavljevic

We also lost Sarah, though her death was much later. You can read the story of her life and death here.  After Jason's death we moved to Templeton to start a new life closer to Kosta's parents who needed more of his help. He was very busy during those first ten years helping me with my book business and then caring for his mom in her last years.

Now all our parents are gone. Occasionally we have time to get out and have a bit of fun. The photo below was taken by a tourist we had been talking to at Leffingwell Landing in Cambria.

Kosta and I at Leffingwell Landing, © B. Radisavljevic

I took the following photo at Cachuma Lake on our way home from a business trip to Ventura.

Kosta at Cachuma Lake, © B. Radisavljevic

The photo below was taken in Summerland on the way south to Ventura on business.

Kosta at Summerland, © B. Radisavljevic

I am  very thankful that after almost 53 years of marriage, we are still together and still have each other. Whatever Kosta may be to others, he is still my best friend. I'm hoping that we will still be allowed a few more years together.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it. The sharing buttons are just above the comment box at the end of this post. The photo below is especially designed for pinning.

This is my eleventh post for the 2016 AtoZchallenge, a Blogging Challenge for the month of April, 2016. My theme is Things You Can See or Experience in North San Luis Obispo County. Here are links to the other posts if you missed them.

A is for Acorn
B is for Barney Schwartz Park
C is for Cattle in Wine Country
D is for Dark Star Cellars
E is for Electric Wires
F is for Family Farms
G is for Graveyard Vineyards
H is for Horses
Insects in My Neighborhood in April

J's Burgers in Paso Robles: A Review

January 26 is National Spouses Day

Spouses Change a Lot in Fifty Years

January 26 is National Spouses Day. It is a day for spouses to appreciate each other. After over fifty years of marriage, I appreciate my husband more as each year passes and we can still enjoy each other's company. We've both changed a lot physically and mentally since this photo was taken on our wedding day. Some of our joints have worn out and been replaced and we've both put on more pounds. Those are the things one would notice just looking at us.

Our Wedding Day, used by permission of Robert Wantz

When we got married, we had some big cultural differences we had to get around. I was born and raised in California.  My husband was born in Serbia with some very definite cultural ideas about what was man's work and what was woman's work. These were reinforced by his mother, who would not have dreamed of letting a man get up from the table to get something from the kitchen if there was a woman there who could get it for him. That has changed. We help each other out.  Whoever is out and about picks up what we need at a store or runs the errand that needs to be done. That used to be all my department.

Hubby shopping, © B. Radisavljevic

More and more frequently we take turns driving each other to the emergency room, medical appointments after surgeries, and helping each other when one is not so mobile.  We are learning to care for each other when medical issues make us less independent for a time. Whichever of us is most able does what needs to be done at any given time. We even need to remind each other of important things we need to do so that doctor appointments, etc., aren't forgotten. Yes, they are on the calendar, but sometimes we still forget.

Hubby at Twin Cities Emergency Room, © B. Radisavljevic

Internal Changes that Affected Our Relationship

What one can't see just by looking are the internal changes. We have done a lot of growing up. Adopting our children accelerated this process. My husband was a good father and loved to play with the children, as you can see in this photo.

Hubby Playing with our Kids,  © B. Radisavljevic

Later, when my son died in an accident at the age of fourteen, we had to support each other through our grief. This is my husband sharing his thoughts at our son's memorial service.

Hubby Speaking at our Son's Memorial Service,  © B. Radisavljevic

Gifts for Celebrating Marriage

 Custom Mr and Mrs 25th wedding anniversary shirts Genesis 2:24 Love Quote Wedding Blanket Personalized Christian Tiles - 1Corinthians 13:4-8 Funny fortune Cookie Marriage Joke Postcard White cream roses marriage renewal ceremony card The Couple that Prays Together Mug Build your marriage on The Rock. Coffee Mug

& 

What We Can Do Together Has Changed

Because of the physical changes in our bodies, we can no longer do some of our favorite things together. One of these activities is hiking. It's hard to do when Hubby can't walk very far or for very long anymore. Sometimes I can't either. Sometimes we will go to a beautiful place where he can sit, while I  walk. Often these are just rest stops while we travel on business. These photos were taken in Santa Barbara County on a day we had to go to Ventura.

Hubby at Summerland © B. Radisavljevic

Hubby at Lake Cachuma, © B. Radisavljevic

We used to enjoy traveling,  but now that's hard, too. We do still both enjoy conversation and spending an afternoon or evening reading our books and just being together. That being together, after all, is what it's all about to have a spouse. 

As you live together, you grow together and year after year the relationship deepens if you can keep forgiving as hurts and misunderstandings happen. They can't help but happen when two selfish people try to live together. They happen much less as spouses adjust to each other's strengths and weaknesses and learn to appreciate them. If spouses give up on each other too soon they may discover too late that everything wrong was not the fault of the spouse.

Marriage is for better and for worse, through sickness and health, through prosperity and poverty. If spouses help and support each other through each of these, forgiving if necessary instead of turning on each other to blame and accuse, they will grow into mature people who can take on what life throws at them together. At the end of the road of life, they will realize they were each other's greatest treasure. 

Related articles

• Today's Experience at the Emergency Room at Twin Cities Hospital
• Our Experience at the Twin Cities Hospital Emergency Room
• Kosta is God's Gift to Me from Across the Ocean
• An After Dinner Rose at Sizzler
• Don't Pass Lookout Park In Summerland - A California Life

Just a Lazy Sunday and a Movie, The War Room

Though it was still a bit hot and muggy Sunday, I was able to spend a couple of hours on some serious writing, see that we ate a simple but nutritious lunch, and get a couple of things crossed off my to-do list. After lunch we managed to get to the 4:15 showing of The War Room at the Park Cinemas Theater.

I'm really not a movie person. I'd rather read, but we have friends talking about the movie so we went. The hardest part of the movie theater experience for me is having to sit through the previews of movies I would never want to see. At least today the previews were compatible with the movie we went to see, but I still did not enjoy having violence in my face.

The movie itself shows how prayer can change situations that seem impossible, such as the failing marriage focused on in The War Room. I believe the message of The War Room is an important one as marriages and families keep crumbling in America. I hope those in troubled marriages will see that there is an alternative to divorce that can actually heal marriages and restore the relationships that have been hurt by arguing and even betrayal. There is a way out of the hopelessness some couples feel when their relationship has deteriorated. There is always hope. If the movie isn't playing near you, you can get it here.

 War Room

When we got home, I opened the windows to catch the slightly cool breeze. I took the photo you see above of the sunset, and then I watered. It would be nice not to have to arrange my schedule around watering times.

How did you spend your Sunday?

This is where we saw the movie today. The postcard is available at Zazzle.
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Related articles

• 'War Room' impresses with its box office success and how it resonates with viewers
• Christian movie among 'best ever'?
• Two Words that Will Change Your Marriage