My Son Jason Loved Life

No One Loved Life More than My Son Jason

This month's theme for City Daily Photo Bloggers is Loving Life. No one loved life more than my son Jason. Unfortunately, he only got to enjoy it for fourteen short years, but he packed a lot of life into those years. He was a child we choose, and he entered our lives when he was just four years old. He moved in with us when he was five, and he officially became our son when he was seven. (Read more about that in How I Became a Parent.) He usually celebrated his birthday at the beach. It was a joint party for him and his sister, adopted with him, and we invited their friends and their friends' families. This picture was taken at the first one of these parties.

Jason's Friends Try to Bury Him in Beach Sand

He loved playing with other children. He also loved building things with any available materials. In this photo, he and his friends are building a log fort with the logs from a tree that had just been trimmed. Jason is the one in the football shirt. The rest are his friends in the neighborhood.

Jason and Neighborhood Friends Building Fort from Logs

Jason Made Friends Everywhere

As Jason grew he continued to make friends with both people and animals. He loved being with animals, and they seemed to know he loved them. He also befriended many who had no real friends. It was also easy for him to start conversations with strangers we met when we traveled. He loved the historical sites and often tried to learn as much as he could from the docents and enactors. Here he has engaged with a soldier at Valley Forge. He loved learning, but not school.

Jason at Valley Forge

Here he is petting a deer that came into family camp on Catalina Island. I think he was seven or eight that year.

Jason Petting a Deer in Camp on Catalina Island

When he was thirteen, we took a mother-son trip to Sacramento and spent a night camping at Clear Lake. He made friends with this dog he met there. He loved dogs and when at home he would bring home every neighborhood dog that got loose during the day and keep it until the owners got home from work. Then he'd return the dog to its owners. He knew where all those dogs lived because he made the rounds of the neighborhood on his bike every day and got to know all the neighbors, including the adults.

Jason  Playing with Dog from Nearby Campsite at Clear Lake

On this trip, Jason fulfilled his dream of panning for gold. He had made friends with a friend of my husband who would visit and tell stories of his own gold prospecting trips. Our motel in Sacramento was right by the river. We had bought a gold pan in Old Town, and he had the time of his life with it, even though he didn't find much gold. It was the experience that mattered to him, and he experienced as much as he could in the time he had.

Jason Panning for Gold in Sacramento, 1990.

It was trying to experience as much as he could that finally led to his death. He went to Pyramid Lake in Los Angeles on an impromptu church outing to waterski. One of the adults had the boat. We did not know he had brought that jet ski that Jason had always wanted to ride. Even though we had told him to wait until he was 18 to ride a jet ski because we knew how dangerous it would be for him, the adults on that trip offered him the chance and he just couldn't say no. So he got the chance for that experience and rode that jet ski straight to Heaven.

Click here to see what other City Daily Photo Bloggers posted to this month's theme: Loving Life.

Kosta is God's Gift to Me from Across the Ocean

My Husband, Kosta, © B. Radisavljevic

"K" is a hard letter because I've previously written K is for Kennedy Club Fitness (where Kosta can often be found swimming and talking to friends) and It's Kite Flying Day -- both for this blog. My husband's name also starts with K, and  Kosta's story deserves a post here, as well as in previous articles I've written about his life. 

Many people have seen Kosta Radisavljevic around the North County at Kennedy Club in Atascadero, Covenant Presbyterian Church, KPRL Coffees, and North County Tea Party meetings and events. Few people really know him, and no one knows him the way I do. Few people realize he spent time in a Communist prison in Serbia as a child. Few people have heard the story of his escape. Some have worked with him in Southern California. Some of you knew him at UCLA when we were students. Here is the Kosta I know.

I met him when we lived in the same dorm, Dykstra Hall, at UCLA in 1962. He was active in Bruin Christian Fellowship (a chapter of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.) Another Christian student introduced us at dinner one night. It soon became apparent that Kosta was a magnet in the dining hall for Christian students from any organization and their roommates and friends. Our table seemed to have all the fun. Kosta made everyone, no matter what their religion, feel welcome to sit with us, and we all became friends.

Kosta was not raised in a church. He was born in Serbia. It took the grace of God to  get him out of Serbia. Kosta tells that story himself in the videos I made of him in this article, Enemies of the  People: Life in Communist Yugoslavia.  I also show you photos of his childhood and provide a bit of the background for the videos. This article and its videos will help you understand a bit of how Kosta became who he is. I was born in California and had a sheltered and happy childhood. It's hard for those of us who did to even comprehend what Kosta's family went through.

Kosta did not become a Christian until his family had emigrated to Canada. He went to a Christian Boarding School, Prairie Bible Institute, and it was there he became a believer. In 1959, Kosta's family finally got their green cards and moved to the United States legally. Finally, about 1961, he arrived at UCLA, where he majored in physics.

Kosta Playing with the Children One Night, © B. Radisavljevic

We became fost-adopt parents of two older children, siblings, Sarah and Jason in 1982. Kosta loved to play with the children, as you can see above. The photo was taken shortly after the children came. We loved traveling with the children and seeing the country together. We looked forward to seeing the children grow up and start families of their own, but that didn't happen. Jason died in an accident when he was just 14.  We were both crushed. Below you see Kosta speaking at Jason's memorial service, which was held outside our church.

Kosta Speaking at Jason's Memorial Service, © B. Radisavljevic

We also lost Sarah, though her death was much later. You can read the story of her life and death here.  After Jason's death we moved to Templeton to start a new life closer to Kosta's parents who needed more of his help. He was very busy during those first ten years helping me with my book business and then caring for his mom in her last years.

Now all our parents are gone. Occasionally we have time to get out and have a bit of fun. The photo below was taken by a tourist we had been talking to at Leffingwell Landing in Cambria.

Kosta and I at Leffingwell Landing, © B. Radisavljevic

I took the following photo at Cachuma Lake on our way home from a business trip to Ventura.

Kosta at Cachuma Lake, © B. Radisavljevic

The photo below was taken in Summerland on the way south to Ventura on business.

Kosta at Summerland, © B. Radisavljevic

I am  very thankful that after almost 53 years of marriage, we are still together and still have each other. Whatever Kosta may be to others, he is still my best friend. I'm hoping that we will still be allowed a few more years together.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it. The sharing buttons are just above the comment box at the end of this post. The photo below is especially designed for pinning.

This is my eleventh post for the 2016 AtoZchallenge, a Blogging Challenge for the month of April, 2016. My theme is Things You Can See or Experience in North San Luis Obispo County. Here are links to the other posts if you missed them.

A is for Acorn
B is for Barney Schwartz Park
C is for Cattle in Wine Country
D is for Dark Star Cellars
E is for Electric Wires
F is for Family Farms
G is for Graveyard Vineyards
H is for Horses
Insects in My Neighborhood in April

J's Burgers in Paso Robles: A Review

January 26 is National Spouses Day

Spouses Change a Lot in Fifty Years

January 26 is National Spouses Day. It is a day for spouses to appreciate each other. After over fifty years of marriage, I appreciate my husband more as each year passes and we can still enjoy each other's company. We've both changed a lot physically and mentally since this photo was taken on our wedding day. Some of our joints have worn out and been replaced and we've both put on more pounds. Those are the things one would notice just looking at us.

Our Wedding Day, used by permission of Robert Wantz

When we got married, we had some big cultural differences we had to get around. I was born and raised in California.  My husband was born in Serbia with some very definite cultural ideas about what was man's work and what was woman's work. These were reinforced by his mother, who would not have dreamed of letting a man get up from the table to get something from the kitchen if there was a woman there who could get it for him. That has changed. We help each other out.  Whoever is out and about picks up what we need at a store or runs the errand that needs to be done. That used to be all my department.

Hubby shopping, © B. Radisavljevic

More and more frequently we take turns driving each other to the emergency room, medical appointments after surgeries, and helping each other when one is not so mobile.  We are learning to care for each other when medical issues make us less independent for a time. Whichever of us is most able does what needs to be done at any given time. We even need to remind each other of important things we need to do so that doctor appointments, etc., aren't forgotten. Yes, they are on the calendar, but sometimes we still forget.

Hubby at Twin Cities Emergency Room, © B. Radisavljevic

Internal Changes that Affected Our Relationship

What one can't see just by looking are the internal changes. We have done a lot of growing up. Adopting our children accelerated this process. My husband was a good father and loved to play with the children, as you can see in this photo.

Hubby Playing with our Kids,  © B. Radisavljevic

Later, when my son died in an accident at the age of fourteen, we had to support each other through our grief. This is my husband sharing his thoughts at our son's memorial service.

Hubby Speaking at our Son's Memorial Service,  © B. Radisavljevic

Gifts for Celebrating Marriage

 Custom Mr and Mrs 25th wedding anniversary shirts Genesis 2:24 Love Quote Wedding Blanket Personalized Christian Tiles - 1Corinthians 13:4-8 Funny fortune Cookie Marriage Joke Postcard White cream roses marriage renewal ceremony card The Couple that Prays Together Mug Build your marriage on The Rock. Coffee Mug

& 

What We Can Do Together Has Changed

Because of the physical changes in our bodies, we can no longer do some of our favorite things together. One of these activities is hiking. It's hard to do when Hubby can't walk very far or for very long anymore. Sometimes I can't either. Sometimes we will go to a beautiful place where he can sit, while I  walk. Often these are just rest stops while we travel on business. These photos were taken in Santa Barbara County on a day we had to go to Ventura.

Hubby at Summerland © B. Radisavljevic

Hubby at Lake Cachuma, © B. Radisavljevic

We used to enjoy traveling,  but now that's hard, too. We do still both enjoy conversation and spending an afternoon or evening reading our books and just being together. That being together, after all, is what it's all about to have a spouse. 

As you live together, you grow together and year after year the relationship deepens if you can keep forgiving as hurts and misunderstandings happen. They can't help but happen when two selfish people try to live together. They happen much less as spouses adjust to each other's strengths and weaknesses and learn to appreciate them. If spouses give up on each other too soon they may discover too late that everything wrong was not the fault of the spouse.

Marriage is for better and for worse, through sickness and health, through prosperity and poverty. If spouses help and support each other through each of these, forgiving if necessary instead of turning on each other to blame and accuse, they will grow into mature people who can take on what life throws at them together. At the end of the road of life, they will realize they were each other's greatest treasure. 

Related articles

• Today's Experience at the Emergency Room at Twin Cities Hospital
• Our Experience at the Twin Cities Hospital Emergency Room
• Kosta is God's Gift to Me from Across the Ocean
• An After Dinner Rose at Sizzler
• Don't Pass Lookout Park In Summerland - A California Life

January 19 is Good Memory Day

Jason after a Long Day at Disneyland
© B. Radisavljevic

When you get to be my age one has accumulated many memories. So which should I pick for Good Memory Day? I think I'd have to go back in time to when my son was alive and sharing my life. He joined our family when he was five years old, and we'd known him as a foster child next door for the year before that. We met as friends who talked outside in the front yard, and then we began to invite him in. He was my friend before he was my son,  and he always remained my friend. He lived with us for nine years before an accident took him off to heaven. This photo was an early one, taken after his first trip to Disneyland.

Jason in Clown Costume
© B. Radisavljevic

After he'd been with us about two years, while he was still a foster child, he dressed as clown for Halloween. It suited his personality perfectly, because he loved to make people laugh. I will always treasure this photo. He was seven when  it was taken.

In the summer of 1985, after the adoption, we took a trip to Washington, D.C. We planned to spend a week there playing tourist with friends of the family who had moved to Massachusetts and didn't know Jason yet, since they had moved away from us before he joined our family. It was in Washington, D.C. that Jason met Abraham Lincoln.

Jason at Lincoln Memorial, © B. Radisavljevic

Jason Pinning Me at Webelo Court of Honor,  © B. Radisavljevic

The next year,  Jason moved to a new school and joined a troop of Webelo Scouts. I was very happy the night pinned me at a Court of Honor to signify that I had helped him to advance.

Jason at Valley Forge,  © B. Radisavljevic

When Jason was twelve, our family took a trip to Massachusetts while my husband was on a temporary contract to work there. Since we were homeschooling by then, we wanted to see all the historical places we could. It was a wonderful trip where we made many good memories. Jason always liked interacting with the docents and others playing parts in living history reenactments. Here he is interacting with a soldier at Valley Forge. If he looks a bit tired it's because we had a long ride that day and would go even farther -- all the way to Massachusetts with a stop in Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell before we finally reached our destination.

Jason at Point Lobos,  © B. Radisavljevic

The next summer, the summer before he died, we had the opportunity to take a mother / son trip that had several purposes. We wanted to provide the setting for earning two Boy Scout badges, and one of them involved visiting the state capitol. I also wanted us to see more of California along the way. It was a trip I'll never forget, and I'll always be grateful we were able to have the time alone. This photo was taken at Point Lobos.

Jason Panning for Gold in Sacramento,  © B. Radisavljevic

After a few more side trips, including camping at Clear Lake State  Park, we got to Sacramento. We stayed at a motel along the American River, and Jason fulfilled a long-held desire to pan for gold. Unfortunately, he didn't find any. He still enjoyed the experience. I will always treasure the memories made on our trip. I had less than a year to make more, since after eleven more months, Jason was gone. This is the photo the newspaper used for the obituary.

Which good memory would you like to celebrate today?